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Virginia Beach, Virginia
May 5th, 2011
New Delhi Dots Team Members:
Kat Woodhams, Mike Benson, Joan Ryan, Kevin 'KY' Lee, Matt McIlvaine, Sandra Ludlum and Martin Carr
Dirty Chicken Pox Team Members:
Jeff Brazinsky, Jim Sedlacko, Melanie Brenner, Dave Slifer, Tracey Fischer and Jennifer Dorsch
Presidential Dumptruck Team Members:
Jeff Hess, John Warner, Kevin Brooks, Michelle McNeal, Caroline Woodhams, and Virginia Behr
Dunkin Donut Team Members:
Skip Davis, Ed Mahayag, Dan Doherty, Brad Behr, Amber O'Bryan, Shannon Lertora, Michelle Dorsch and Jenny Carr
Pictures of 2011 DIGS by Derrick 'Dpod' Cheung
2011 DIGS wrapup by Jim Sedlacko

It all started 2 months ago at the Digs Draw, followed by the Dig's Warmup and it all ended in Pierce's parking lot on Sunday with hugs and tears. Where to begin? This is a direct quote from Charlie the dog, "I think its weird that us dogs sniff each others buttholes but these people are fucking crazy!!" I couldnt agree with Charlie more.

Now I'm a pretty smart guy, at least smart enough to check into a KOA campground to "rent" a piece of dirt to erect a cloth house on but while standing with Dave at the counter I felt like I was in advanced calculus class. Dave and the check in girl Shannon (the one with more whiskers than me) were throwing around numbers that would have confused Einstein in his prime but we finally figured everything out. I just sorta stood there and shook my head yes or no feigning understandability. Major props to Dave for putting that nightmare together. I really truly mean that. We sat around camp waiting for our fellow golfers to arrive. What a treat to see the Stoli twins Melly and Trace arrive wired and ready to go although more on that later. Thursday night is usually a pretty quiet night but it seems that we all had to let loose a little more than usual. After Dave's offering of good good mahi mahi fish fish tacos tacos and Dpods fried chicken for dinner, things got a little out of hand. 2 thumbs up for JBA's jello shooters but 12 thumbs up to Melly for serving them nestled neatly between her ample, heaving breasts. Those big cups holding those little cups seemed to defy gravity snuggled in Melly's décolletage. Jenny Carr gets the record for spending the most time between Mel's boobs. When she came up for air, the whole cup was gone. We spent the night downing my tie dye mai tais and rehashing old Digs stories from the past 12 plus years. 2 thumbs down for Martin for hitting the sack early at 1am! JBA set a record of drinking 7 different kinds of alcohol which was about how many strokes he had on every hole on that golf course.

Balls! Golfballs that is. The Digs a Divot Golf tournament is always a great start to the Dig's weekend. Thanks again to Dave for putting this shin dig together. When it all came to an end, my team (Two Peas in a Dpod) of Trace and Dpod came in with the lowest net score of 92, nipping Matty Mac n Cheese, Slick Slack and a Hack and Hot Buttered BJ by two strokes. We carried home the trophy and plan on treating it with utmost respect. Congrats to Jenny for winning the girl"s longest drive contest and for coming in as best dressed. Little did she know that her little tiny golf skorts was actually a skirt. I think she did it on purpose. I have a feeling that the marshal had a stroke or a heart attack after our groups left the course due to all the stretching the girls were doing during play. He was a dirty old man. Jeffe said he used his dick to measure his closest to the pin shot of 7 inches. The girls were all impressed until he said he measured it 3 inches, 3 inches and then 1. That brought the house down.

The night before Digs was like the night before Christmas. Layered with anticipation, food and alcohol. You try to scale the drinking down a bit to perform well on the court but the environment is ripe for partying. Unless you were Corey, he scaled up his drinking on Friday. I found out through my sources that Corey lost his stomach contents in the pee trench behind our campsite. Disgusting you say? My sources also tell me that Butterfly did the same........inside the tent. There should be an award for that. Every year we have a vomit highlight. Last year was JBA losing his cookies on courts 9,10 and 11 and this year we have Butterfly and Butterbean showing us where to throw up and where not to throw up.

Game day! Wow, what can I say about this? Weather 10. Food 10. Teams 10. Play 9. I only say this because I would have liked to have seen one of our teams make it to the finals or have two of our teams play each other. Unfortunately neither of these things happened but this just gives us incentive for next year. We all made it off the court for playoffs which has never been done before. I personally would like to have that 15-12 playoff game back again. We are all competitive people and don't take to losing well but its funny how a cold beer or mai tai or both just immediately takes that pain away. Once again we impressed our opponents with the number of cheers we had from our sister teams while we played. It makes me play harder when I know you are all watching and cheering us on. POX! POX! POX! DOTS DOTS DOTS! NUTS NUTS NUTS! DUMP DUMP DUMP! I had a chat with the Digs director about where we were all from and I rattled of who we were representin". He said that San Diego was a first. Wonder if our group is going to make the Digs website with his pics and video he took? I really liked how the teams worked out this year any my Pox team was off the hook.

Post Digs Party. As Matty Mac n Cheese put it, "my liver is broken." this didn't stop us from finishing the Digs weekend off in style. I don't think I ever grilled so much stuff in my life. I hope our group doesnt get any bigger cause I'll be grilled out. There should be a law against drunk grilling. Now you all know that the later you give me your grillable the better the chance you'll be getting the squirts the next day. That would have been Dave with his tiny little slider.....oh and those little hamburgers he gave me to grill. I want to thank each and every one of you except Dan (just kidding Dan) for sticking with and going over the top with our tie dye theme. Our campsite and the pictures you all took looked awsome with all the crazy colors. KY and I wanted to have a little fun and see if any of the team members would jump at the chance of pantomiming their team names meaning. Gotta give a shout out to Mike Benson and Kat for miming their team name. For some reason, I think Mike really enjoyed doing that. On the other hand I did not enjoy having Jeffe's hands on my hips, bending me over and trying to reenact the Smelly Chicken Pox definition. Not that I would have felt his three inches anyway. HIYOOOOOO! The tie dye contest was won by Corey himself with an impressive display of tie dye, hippie hair and headband. KY presented him with what else, a bottle of scented slippery warming KY.

Even before we went walkabout, Melly showed us that motherhood has stolen her drinking mojo. That girl parties and parties hard.............for 20 minutes! She was drunk, passed out, threw up 3 times, passed out again, stopped breathing, came too and fell asleep all by 9:48pm. Kudos to Trace for mothering her Stoli twin and tucking her in for the night. So off to E's tent party with the MBU being towed along by JBA. Drinking, dancing repeat!! I remember JBA telling me that he was leaving and the MBU was in good hands. When I walked outside to grab a beer from it, he had Charlie on a leash tied to the handle. I guess John should have said that the MBU was in good paws. Actually, I think a drunk dog could watch the mobile beer unit better than John. I was bitter at my campartners Saturday night. i was surrounded with tie dye busting my moves one minute and the next minute abandoned, all alone, with no beer. I think Charlie dragged the MBU back to the campsite. Luckily I had my phone and drunk dialed Dave to find out that they were all partying in Joans cabin. I stormed through the dark woods and something seriously happened that I didnt tell anybody about. I got lost! I had my rescue whistle with me and blew it several times to no answer. Finally stumbled upon a cabin where I was given water, something to eat and directions to Joans. This mess all came to a semi quiet end at about 3am getting a facial massage from Mcduece. It was so soothing especially when she started singing me a lullaby. It went like this, "to the 26 best friends that anyone could ever have, to the 26 best friends that anyone could ever have."

Sunday morning is always a bit of a downer. Tired, hung over, sore, bruised, long drive or flight home but the memories of the weekend keep you company. Vee and Brad managed to cuddle and kiss each other in the campsite when somebody yelled "Hey look, Behrs doing it in the woods!" Our last laugh at Digs for this year. I hope you all enjoyed yourselves, made some new friends, rekindled some old and want to join the party again next year.

Warmest regards, see you on the court. Jimmy


Dpod and Skip for fantastic food preparation. Also Skip for leaving a DNA sample at the campsite. Skin from his run in with Dpods hauler. Skip looked like he got attacked by a grizzly.
Me for grilling.
Dave for the Friday morning breakfast.
KY for presenting Dpod with and I Love BJ t shirt (BJ being Beijing) On the back it said Team Asia, cause this is how we woll.
Amber and Cory for bringing 30 pounds of fresh tomatoes for the steak salad.............2 hours after we all ate steak salad.
T Bag and P Bag for just letting us call them that.
Pierces BBQ for supplying us with succulent pig on Sunday.
Our boys from the military who kept us up til 1am Thursday night with jet fighters screaming overhead. Dpod thought they were in strict violation of the campsites quiet time.

Kat and Kevin
So another digs is under our belts. I am sure I missed alot of other goings on that are worth mentioning but this newsletter is getting long enough. What a great group of kids! Mark the first weekend of May on next years calendar! If you didn't make the Digs Wrapup, youre not trying hard enough. Better luck next year.

Jim Sedlacko
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